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This kind of miscommunication can be prevented by understanding how your children learn language. Then you can adjust your communication to fit their way of perceiving the world. It is better to simply identify the object and give a command than it is to supply them with a complex sentence containing only one or two words they can understand. If the sign TOUCH-NO were already understood, it would have been more effective to sign DOG, TOUCH-NO as you say to her, "Don't touch the dog." Those parents who introduced the TOUCH-NO sign early in their children's lives are glad they did; their toddlers understood and usually followed this warning. In most cases, children don't produce TOUCH-NO — it's a caregiver's command. Some children did produce the TOUCH sign and then look to their parents for approval. Several parents told me they saw their toddlers sign TOUCH-NO to other children, warning them of danger. A warm bowl of water next to a cool bowl of water is a good way to introduce WARM and COLD. Experiment with each bowl, allowing your children to feel the water, then show them the appropriate sign. HOT, WARM, AND COLD HOT and COLD are useful signs and can be introduced during feeding time. For example, you have a dish of food that is too hot to eat. The steam is still rising as you set it on the table out of reach of your toddler. You point to the food and sign HOT. The steam rising from food gives your child something visual to associate with hot. "CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE IT H U R T S ? " Signing offers this unique benefit: it provides a way for your children to tell you where they are hurt. When they come to you crying, show them the PAIN sign as you console them. Make the sign at the injured area. After a short time, your infants will associate pain with this sign. Once they learn the relationship between an injury and the PAIN sign, the stage is set for locating their pain. After a few episodes of searching for the pain, your child will get the message and direct you to the injured area without going through the entire search process. The search-for-a-shoe game discussed later is a good way to introduce the WHERE and SEARCH signs. It's interesting that when asked WHERE PAIN?, some children point to the object that hurt them rather than showing where they are hurt on their bodies. When your children are hurt and you have no idea what happened or where they are hurt, you can use the PAIN-WHERE?SEARCH sequence. You sign PAIN, and then WHERE? Then sign SEARCH as you move the SEARCH sign around their bodies. I found it helpful to sign PAIN-WHERE? then touch my son's head, and sign PAIN there? (pointing to a spot). I would go over his whole body in this way until he nodded his head, yes. This process was successful in locating the injury with many children. Kim was 14 months, and playing in the park, when she stumbled and fell. Her mother jumped up from her bench, looked at Kim and signed HURT? Kim shook her head "no" and went on playing. Later, when they had returned home, Kim was playing with her rag doll. She fell again, this time landing on her doll. She picked up the doll and went over to her mother. Kim looked sad, so her mother asked if she was hurt, by signing HURT? Kim set her doll down and signed HURT over the doll. Her mother got a bandage and put it on the doll. Kim picked up her doll and walked away happy. SOME HANDY GAMES Be creative and spontaneous with signing. Many signs can be used while playing games. HIDE, SEARCH, CATCH, and TICKLE are some obvious ones. With three or more people, play hide and seek using the signs HIDE, SEARCH, WHERE, and TICKLE. One person hides and the other person goes with the toddler and signs WHERE and SEARCH while looking for the hidden person. When you find the hidden person, you tickle them. This may also be a good time to show the CATCH sign. As her finger moved across the front of her hand, her infant would try to catch the worm. Each time the child caught the worm, the worm would interact with her and she would get a hug. This is one example of the limitless games you can create with signs and your imagination. Older toddlers, about 14 to 18 months, will love this next game. While they are looking at you, put a toy or something special to them out of sight, but within a few crawls or steps. Sign WHERE? with an inquisitive look on your face. Your toddlers look for the object and when they find it, you give them a hug. Repeat the game, finding a different hiding place each time. You may try signing SEARCH during the search process, moving the sign in the direction you are searching. One family invented a game they called "catch the worm." The mother cut off the index finger of an old glove and attached little eyes and a fuzzy pipe cleaner to make it look like a worm or caterpillar. Wearing the worm on her index finger, she would sign WORM to her daughter. I read lots of animal books with pictures to my sons and would make the signs for the animals as we came to them. Eventually this evolved into a game. As we saw the picture, I would say the name, make the animal's sound, and then sign its name. This became very useful when we went to the zoo. I would sign the individual animals as we watched them. My sons would also make the sign for the animals and imitate the sounds I made. The vocabulary section includes the signs for alligator, bear, bee, bird, bull, butterfly, cat, cow, dog, elephant, fish, fly, frog, horse, insect, lion, monkey, mosquito, mouse, rabbit, snake, spider, squirrel, turtle, and worm. (Let me know what sound you come up with for a worm.) RECOGNIZING YOUR CHILDREN'S SIGNS Children may not always make a sign exactly as you make it. Motor skills develop at different rates. Therefore, dexterity levels will vary among children of the same age. Notice the difference between the way these children make the WHERE sign. The first child points both index fingers and makes the motion with one hand, using the other as a support. The older child signs WHERE the correct way except his motion is wider. My sons were learning to sign in rural Alaska, where many small planes flew overhead. So AIRPLANE was a sign they learned early. Remember, although your children will try their best to imitate your movements, their hand shapes will be crude at first. Keep making the signs correctly, despite your children's variations. They need to see the signs repeated the right way, just as they need to hear words pronounced correctly to perfect their speech. When my sons were first learning signs, they would offer me their hands so I could help them make the sign movements. As they grew older, I helped them form the specific finger shapes. AIRPLANE Here is another example of variations in the way children may form a sign. The first picture shows the way a child at ten months signed WATER by holding up only his index finger. The second picture shows the way the same child at thirteen months made the sign correctly — holding up all three fingers. When an airplane passed over, I would look up and point at the plane. I would sign AIRPLANE and move my hand in the same direction as the plane. I also made a "rrrrmmmm" sound. Then, I would say the word "airplane." At ten and a half months, Stratton used his pointed index finger and moved it over his head making a "rrrrmmmm" sound. Damian, at eleven months, used his fist with the same movement and said "appp." I remember the first time I introduced the airplane sign to Damian. Later the same day he made the sign and sound several times. He was reaffirming his understanding that the sign represented the airplane. This also indicated that he was thinking about the plane and wanted to talk about it. I realized that he wanted to initiate conversation. Learning the sign AIRPLANE gave him an opportunity to do this. It was the first time he was able to start a conversation based on an experience we had shared. I reinforced his attempt to discuss the airplane by making the sign. Then I acted out an animated version of the event — it was loud, it flew high over the trees, and then it disappeared in the distance. I had the same experience with both boys, in which signs enabled them to initiate conversation. A mother who started signing by using the MORE sign told me that her six month infant clapped her hands when she wanted something. This child's clapping — which can be seen as babbling in signs — eventually became MORE as her fingers were able to form the exact shape. Your child's signs will go through a metamorphosis, sometimes changing over days or weeks. The vocabulary section has space where you can identify your baby's unique sign variations. REPEATING AND REINFORCING YOUR SIGNS Have fun with your whole family using your signs at every possible opportunity. It's advantageous to use signs among all family members so your babies see consistent manual communication in their surroundings. Your children are making a connection between the sign and what it represents. This connection is reinforced every time they see or make the sign. Show caregivers, such as babysitters, the signs your infants use. It may be frustrating for your children if the people who care for them don't understand the signs your children make. My research showed that some children respond quickly to some signs and more slowly to others. The age at which each child produces a sign is completely individual. Be patient and consistent. Never stop providing a sign just because you think they know it (you've seen them sign it a few times) or because they don't sign it at all. Keep using the signs. Whatever happens, don't show frustration. This is supposed to be fun for you and your babies. If you let them feel that you are disappointed or impatient, they will lose interest and the fun could end. Set up situations that offer the opportunity to use a sign. During meal times, give your children half as much food as usual and then sign MORE? when they finish the first portion. ALL-GONE Also, when your infants finish something on their plates, you can sign ALL-GONE. By the way, this sign will soon become handy when you don't want them to have more of something. Infants also use this sign to tell you they are finished with something. Always be prepared to acknowledge your child's attempts to produce signs. Don't wait until your child produces one sign before you introduce another. Use your daily experiences to direct you in the vocabulary you generate. One thing that really surprised me was that my children would remember and produce signs after not seeing or using them for weeks. My son Stratton was fifteen months old and for several days we kept meeting people with infants. I showed Stratton the sign for BABY each time. He never made the sign himself until three weeks later when we saw another baby. He looked at the baby, then made the BABY sign to me. Other parents were also amazed at their children's capability for retention. However, do not make the mistake of relying entirely on your child's memory, phenomenal as it may be. You should repeat your signs at every opportunity. I suggest you create a sign for each person (or pet) who has regular contact with your child, or for a person whose photograph your child sees regularly. I try to come up with a motion that shows an obvious characteristic of the person (or animal). Anticipate your child's needs and use signs throughout your day. Make it a pleasant experience for both of you. Add new signs when the appropriate situation arises. Record the new signs you invent and describe their origins. We left space for notes under each term in the vocabulary section. Enter your own signs alphabetically. This will help you and others locate them later. Remember, your child will get confused if you change the way you make a sign from day to day. COMBINING SIGNS After your children have made a sign several times, you can begin combining it with a new sign or one they already know: MORE-MILK, FOOD-ALL GONE, PAPA-DANCE, COLD- WATER, WHERE-SHOES, e t c . TOUCH-NO and HURT go well together. Many children respond quickly to this combination. Children will sometimes sign WHERE-MOTHER or WHEREFATHER if either parent is not in sight. WHERE can be used before many objects or people. HOW TO CREATE A NEW SIGN Occasionally, something will make an impression on your child and you will want a sign for it but will not find it in the vocabulary section of this book. When this happens you can invent a sign. Make your sign so it mimics an action or shows an object's shape. Be spontaneous when inventing a sign. Create a sign that visually represents the object or situation. Try to recreate the most dramatic characteristic with your hands. For example, playing an instrument can be imitated once your child sees it being played. Keep the movement simple. Add a facial expression to your sign when it's appropriate. The Sign with your Baby Quick Reference Guide, included in the Complete Learning Kit (ref. page 109), is also a valuable resource to help you document when you have shown and when your child has produced many of the most useful signs. It's a great tool to help you quickly learn the signs and to teach other caregivers the signs your baby knows. The signs in this book are American Sign Language (ASL) signs. I also demonstrate each of these signs in the last segment of the Sign with your Baby Training Video. During the demonstration segment, the video displays a digital counter on-screen to help you locate specific hand shapes and signs. An index of hand shapes and an index of signs and their corresponding video counter numbers appear on pages 55 and 57 of this book. If you would like to use ASL signs for words not included in this book and video, you may wish to locate an ASL dictionary. THE POWER OF SILENCE It's natural to want to say the corresponding words with your signs. Vocalizing is almost automatic and you may be tempted to do it all the time. However, you can help develop your child's visual and analytic senses by maintaining a balance between verbal communication and silent eye-to-eye communication. I suggest you maintain some silent interaction. Senses are stimulated in different ways during silent communication. Children draw on other resources and develop different skills when their oral/aural channels take a rest. • Make your signs in the sight-line, and be ready to use a sign during chance mutual gazes, expressive gazes, and pointed gazes. • Begin playing signing games such as "hide and seek" and "catch the worm" with your infants. • When your infants attempt their first signs, encourage them and help them shape their hands. • Learn more signs and be ready to introduce them at any opportunity or create opportunities to show new signs. THINGS TO REMEMBER • It's never too late to begin signing. You can even use signs after your toddler begins speaking. Signing will enhance your communication and add an element of fun to your lives. • Parents can start using signs as early as the seventh month. However, understand that a child may not produce a sign until their eighth or ninth month or beyond. • Get familiar with the first few signs you will use. Many parents have had great success with the signs MORE, MILK, and EAT as their first signs. • Show your infant signs at every opportunity and be consistent in the way you make your signs. • After you use the first few signs for a couple of months, introduce more signs, such as the signs for things that interest your infant (a pet, a person) or an object your infant sees often (shoes, a teddy bear, or a book). • Always repeat each sign you show. In general, the more your infants see a sign, the faster they will learn it and use it. • Be patient. Never show disappointment or frustration if your child does not produce a sign. All children are different and need to be treated according to their own timetables and behaviors. • Have fun! THE TERRIBLE TWOS AND THREES: TALK YOUR CHILD OUT OF THEM Where do the "terrible twos and threes" come from, anyway? How could those little angels turn into such testing bundles of mischief? What is the easiest way to navigate through these years? Maybe two- or three-year-olds are feeling frustrated because they have just spent their entire lives unable to communicate what they understood or needed. They may have been thinking, "I know what's going on, but why don't you know that I know?" So, when toddlers do gain some verbal power, maybe they need to release—it's pay-back time. I suspect the "terrible twos and threes" are due not only to the child testing limits, but also to the absence of or the breakdown in clear communication. Remember the imaginary scenario of your toddler Juliet and her hurt nose? Without signs, you both would have felt frustrated. It could have been a terrible experience for you because you wanted so much to understand and help her. It would have been equally frustrating for Juliet because she had something to express and no way to express it. strong foundation for spoken language. We found that our children expressed themselves clearly when speech began. By clearly, I mean they were able to choose or search for the precise words to express their thoughts. They followed a logical and systematic pattern in expressing themselves. I also noticed that my sons would often rely on me to provide them with the right word for whatever they were trying to say. FINAL THOUGHTS This process would follow the same pattern as the way in which I had introduced a sign for an object or situation. Many children continue to use signs after they begin speaking because it's so much fun. Young children have little or no control over their lives. Communication is one thing that begins to empower them. You the caregivers are the most important influences in your toddlers' worlds. Communication with you at an early age will feed them emotionally and intellectually. More and more research confirms what wise parents have always known— you will establish the lasting foundation of your child's physical, mental, and spiritual health by meeting all these needs during those first few years. And naturally, the time you share with your child will be of higher quality when you are more interactive. My own children are in school now and signing continues to enrich our interaction (from time to time). With non-verbal communication, our eyes tend to look a little deeper to understand each other. This process leads to a closer sense of connection. I feel that by experiencing communication in this way, you tap a little deeper into the roots of parent/child bonding—the more dynamic your communication, the stronger your bond. As a parent, signing gives me an incredible satisfaction. I hope you enjoy signing with your baby and benefit from it as I and others have. Many who have used this system have expressed the delight they experienced communicating with their children so early in their children's lives. Many parenting rewards are built on a foundation of good communication. As my sons and other young signers grew older, we discovered that using the hands to talk actually helped our children develop a While I still have your attention, I'd like to offer a couple of suggestions. When your children begin to speak, they will learn and use whatever words you give them. Don't underestimate their intelligence and memory. Use correct and accurate words. Even if they cannot pronounce a word perfectly, they have heard it and will eventually use it in the correct context. I taught my sons the specific words for injuries (bruise, cut, scrape, etc.). They learned to distinguish the different types of injuries, while I noticed other children their ages still said "ouch" or "owie" for all injuries. This is just an example; you can carry this idea through all vocabulary development. Teaching your children a "baby" word for something, only to replace it later with a more sophisticated word, may be doing them a disservice. One last bit of advice: I know some parents who, with all good intentions, want to be such good parents that they over anticipate and meet their children's every need too readily. The drawback here is that these children rarely have an opportunity to express their needs. Sometime between the first indication of need and the screaming stage is the opportunity to introduce signs. This way, you can be most effective in helping your infants develop their ability to tell you exactly what they want. Also, don't ask your children to sign out of context, perform for others, or compare your children to other children. Be careful not to show disappointment if your child chooses not to sign in a particular situation even if your child has signed in a similar situation before. Remember, don't make signing with your baby a lesson, but use signs in your daily life as an augmentation to your speech. Don't teach the signs, just sign. Let your baby discover. HAND SHAPES These numbers will help you quickly locate a hand shape in the training video by finding the corresponding number displayed on-screen in the video's demonstration segment. 1 Hand 0:01 2 Hand 0:04 Inverted 2 Hand...0:07 Bent2Hand 0:11 5 Hand 0:15 Bent 5 Hand 0:19 C Hand 6 Hand 0:22 O Hand Modified 8 Hand . 0:26 S Hand 9 Hand 0:30 T Hand A Hand 0:36 Flat O Hand 0:40 0:44 0:48 0:52 0:56 X Hand Modified X Hand. Y Hand Cupped Hand Claw Hand 1:00 1:04 1:08 1:12 1:16 These hand shapes, borrowed from American Sign language, are used to form the signs in the vocabulary section. VOCABULARY These numbers will help you quickly locate a sign in the training video by finding the corresponding number displayed on-screen in the video's demonstration segment. Again 1:26 Delicious Airplane 1:29 Dirty All Gone 1:35 Dog Alligator 1:40 Down Apple 1:46 Dream Baby 1:51 Drink Banana 1:57 Earache Bath 2:02 Eat Bear 2:07 Elephant Beautiful 2:11 Fall Down Bed 2:16 Father Bee 2:22 Finished Big 2:26 Fire Bird 2:31 Fish Book 2:36 Flower Bottle 2:40 Fly Boy 2:46 Friend Bread 2:51 Frog Brother 2:56 Get Bull 3:00 Girl Burn 3:05 Go Butter 3:09 Good Butterfly 3:14 Grandfather Cake 3:19 Grandmother Car 3:24 Happy Cat 3:29 Head Catch 3:34 Headache Change 3:39 Hear Clean 3:44 Hello Clouds 3:49 Help(l) Coat 3:54 Help (2) Cold 3:58 Hide Cookie 4:02 Home Corn-on-the-cob .. 4:07 Horse Cow 4:13 Hot Cry 4:16 House Dance 4:22 Hug MOVEMENT 4:26 4:31 4:35 4:40 4:44 4:48 4:52 4:58 5:03 5:07 5:11 5:16 5:19 5:23 5:28 5:33 5:38 5:43 5:48 5:52 5:58 6:02 6:07 6:12 6:17 6:22 6:27 6:32 6:37 6:40 6:43 6:46 6:50 6:55 7:01 7:05 7:10 INDICATORS Hurt I Love You (1) I Love You (2) Ice Cream In Insect Jump Ketchup Lion Little Meat Milk Mine Monkey Moon More Mosquito Mother Mouse No Orange Out Over Pain Pie Play Please Popcorn Potato Rabbit Rain Run Saxophone Scared Search Share Shoes 7:15 7:20 7:23 7:27 7:33 7:37 7:42 7:48 7:53 7:58 8:03 8:08 8:14 8:19 8:25 8:30 8:36 8:41 8:45 8:49 8:55 9:00 9:05 9:10 9:15 9:20 9:25 9:30 9:35 9:40 9:46 9:51 9:55 10:02 10:06 10:12 10:17 Sick Sister Sit Sleep Snake Snow Socks Sore Throat Sorry Spider Spoon Squirrel Stomachache Stop Sun Telephone Tell Thank You Throw Thunder Tickle Tired Toilet Touch Turtle Under Up Wait Want Warm Water Where Work Worm Yes You're Welcome 10:22 10:28 10:32 10:37 10:42 10:47 10:52 10:56 11:02 11:07 11:12 1117 11:22 11:28 11:32 11:37 11:41 11:46 11:50 11:54 11:59 12:04 12:09 12:14 12:18 12:24 12:28 12:33 12:38 12:42 12:46 12:52 12:58 13:02 13:09 13:14