Nội dung

CRUNCH TIME Terrisa Lynn Coobs Copyright © Terrisa Lynn Coobs 2012 Published at Smashwords Front Matter Reading, Sharing, Publishing (+ republishing), Linkage, Inclusions, Categories CRUNCH TIME Published by Terrisa L. Coobs, © Terrisa Lynn Coobs, 2012 This book is free. There shouldn’t be much of a reason to obtain it through means other than its online publishing platform. That said, no matter how you’ve gotten a hold of it, if you dig this little book, do be a dear and stop by to star or review it on Amazon. Or, send a link back to my publishing site, UrbanSeagulls. If you were perusing the shelves of your local bookstore, you might find this title in the sections for : memoir || entrepreneurship || art || spirituality || simplicity || personal development || behavior change || inspiration || creative lifestyle More things I’d like to write / publish : Kung Fu Religion_about my spiritual journey thus far A guide to beginning the business side of an art career_a collaborative work A Bryson style chronicle of my travels + meetings Poetry Science + Fantasy Fiction Where else I am currently writing : MEDIUM artist magazine_where art meets biography My blog, UrbanSeagulls_look the world in the eye and smile Crunch Time : A Self-Motivating, Deeply Personal Survival Memoir from a First Year Artist + Entrepreneur By Terrisa Lynn Coobs *a collections of 50 life lessons from the field * dedicated to friends traversing a similar road intro Crunch time is the name of this book. So titled because that is the situation in which I find myself. Today, tonight, this hour, exactly 11: 30pm on Friday night, January 27th, 2012. Tonight, I am in CRUNCH TIME. And I’m writing for my life. My Spotify stream just cut off because funds could not be accessed in my account. I cannot go to coffee in the morning and write more of this over a peppermint latte because I don’t even have $5 to spend. I know that over the next 4 days I’m going to write for my life. Not because I expect this tiny book to become big seller and save my ass from financial crisis. At 35% royalties on a $0.99 book, that would take a while. *Since writing this memoir a month ago, I’ve decided to give it away for free to interested readers.* But because right now, I’m IN IT. I’m on the ride, in the midst of the fear and doing my best to move through it. I’m not sitting back afraid to start because of the fear. I’m here, looking it dead in the eye. I have a roll of toilet paper next to me to keep the occasional tear of fear from soaking my keyboard. Some of you will find yourselves here, at different times for different reasons, as you pursue your own Legend. Not the financial crisis part necessarily, but the place of fear, surely. I’m settling into this moment, determined to share it with you, because I have known the comfort of shared experience. I’m holding onto it now. It’s how I know you will receive me, if you can identify. I was doing okay earlier today. I was moving through things with relative ease. Now, I’m a mess. I’m questioning some of the very things I’ve learned this year that I’ve included in this book. I feel alone, embarrassed, unprepared for the criticism I will receive, fearful of the reactions of others, of you. I also feel determined to put this fear into the world. They tell you, in order to be perceived as an expert, not to show your hand. Fake it ’til you make it. Speak of hardships only in the past. And I hear that. But I’m ignoring that advice today. In fact, I ignore it most days. Being here at this very moment, in the fox hole, is making me an expert. This hardship will pass. I won’t die, and I’ll be back to write another day. This tiny book may be a pillar of pride for me then. I’m certain it will be. Not only that, but I don’t want to be the type of expert who only speaks of overcome struggles. Dare I say that I trust you more than that? Trust your acceptance of my experience and willingness to learn from it, expert or not? I want real. I want grit. I want sweat and tears and toilet paper wads full of snot. Because here, in this place, is where connection happens between you and me. Here, we become comfortable with one another. Here, I’ve started a relationship by opening myself up to your rejection - or acceptance. There’s something special about the friends who have seen you at your lowest points. There’s a comfort there. It’s a comfort I long to give and to receive. Perhaps that’s why I write as I do. Because it’s not just for you that I write. It’s also for me. I believe this connection is a vital part of creating beautiful, meaningful art. So I’m determined to connect with you here - from my fox hole. I can go anywhere on the internet to find information and advice organized in every conceivable way on (almost) any conceivable topic. If I’m relying on pithy admonitions alone, the competition is much fiercer and wiser than I. There is nothing unique about my work. Except (pause), that I often create it here - in my fox hole. When I most crave connection and understanding. Art = all of us trying to be heard. Art = Creation + Connection. I hope this short book is received as beautiful, meaningful art. .... what it is & isn’t This book is a short journalistic account of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned in my first year as an artist + entrepreneur learning to make it on my own. Whether you identify as an entrepreneur, artist, challenge seeker, trailblazer, lifestyle designer or any other adventurous spirit, I bet you will have experienced similar feelings along the way. In fact, if you’re a college student you’ll probably identify quite well too - I still think of myself as a college student most days. Getting through the first year of anything is an adventure all its own, and I’ve always loved hearing other people’s “first year” stories. That said, this book is not designed to teach you any one thing, although it very possibly will. A bonus. It is not a guide (hence why I did not put survival guide in the title). It is not a manifesto. It is not meant to teach you How To or even be an educational resource. It’s primary purpose is connection + inspiration. It’s meant to paint a picture of what one person’s “first year in” has looked like. Most people’s first year will look different from mine. But perhaps we will have learned similar lessons. Perhaps this story will provide you with a comforting visual when you’re in the throes of the most difficult months yourself. And perhaps you will be able to avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made, like letting my bank account reach $3.47. I’m not supporting myself through my work yet (obviously). The sales from this book won’t come close to supporting me and are not meant to. But they’re a start. This book is a part of my journey I somehow knew would come. I knew there would be a point at which I would have to be at the bottom of my barrel and get creative. This is what I’ve secretly wanted to do. I’ve wanted to have to write for my life and see what would come out of it. I’ve wanted to have to rely on my own gut and gumption, to learn to survive, to get MacGuyver on this shit, to prove myself. For me. If I fail . . . Oh wait. I won’t.